Do you feel like an imposter?
The imposter being referred to here is not the one in the popular murder-mystery game that everyone right now is infatuated with. However, a lot of us might feel like an imposter- or in better words- a fraud in real life quiet frequently. Every now and again one can feel like they do not belong where they are and after a little rant, a nice relaxing activity or a good vacation, everything’s back to normal. The problem arises when a few bad days turn into continuous streaks of self-doubt that can lead to a downward spiral into symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
This phenomenon was first described in the 1970s by psychologists Clance and Imes as a form of self-doubt or insecurity that manifests as an inability to accept success. It is not just lack of confidence but people feel uncomfortable with compliments or positive feedback, downplay their accomplishments by attributing them to external factors, refuse to accept other people’s validation of their abilities and feel that their ideas and skills aren’t worthy of attention. As a coping mechanism, people with imposter syndrome end up being procrastinators or perfectionists in order to attribute their achievements to luck (in last minute submissions) or purely hard work (overwork to feel deserving). They have a constant fear of being discovered as fake (due to the low self-esteem) and constantly feel anxious that others might discover their lack of talent. They are thus fearful of failure and always feel the need to be the best. According to research, this has been linked to burnout and growing career dissatisfaction, with high prevalence in those with Type-A personality as well as those high on the neuroticism scale.
Imposter syndrome is not a disease or abnormality, but is a way of thinking many indulge in on a regular basis. Where do these feelings of fraudulence come from?
“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they are going to find me out.”
-Maya Angelou (Nobel Laureate & literary legend)
On feelings of self-doubt every time she published a new book.
When people accomplish something, they tend to think others around them are just as skilled. This can spiral into feelings that they do not deserve the recognition and opportunities, as there are no measures or thresholds of accomplishment that can provide a sense of validation. These feelings can also arise due to Pluralistic Ignorance that is we all doubt ourselves privately, but believe we are alone in thinking that way, because barely anyone voices their doubts. This prevents people from sharing great ideas or applying for jobs and partaking in projects where they could excel. On the brighter side, this could also lead people to consciously commit to question and expand their knowledge and skill base, keep on constantly learning, motivated by the fear of feeling inadequate and being called out.
How does one overcome it?
· The first step is to recognize these feelings and develop an awareness of what triggers them. Knowing that one isn’t alone in this or even simply giving a name to these feelings can provide a sense of relief from the anxiety.
· This can be followed by rephrasing them in a proper context, like — ‘it’s fine to feel out of your depth in front of challenges and unfamiliar situations.’ ‘I must be doing something right to have achieved all this’. Questioning irrational thoughts with logic is a start. Instead of worrying about being found out, remind yourself that its normal not to know each and everything and you’ll learn more as you progress.
· Minimize comparison and competition with others, and strive to be a better version of yourself every day. Know that everyone has their own share of struggles and that we never truly know how hard our peers work, how difficult they find certain tasks, or how much they doubt themselves.
· Learning to differentiate between emotional responses and facts. Realizing that the negative feelings of disappointment and inadequacy one feels in face of failure or setbacks is an emotive response and does not certify a lack of ability. Sometimes a little bit of advice or help can get you back on track and help hone your skills as well.
· Positive Self- Affirmation that is statements that help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes, like — ‘I can do this’ ‘I will overcome this’ ‘I am capable and confident I can accomplish this’.
· Be kind to yourself. It is absolutely fine to take a break when you need, forgive yourself for a mistake and need support at times. You don’t need to always prove yourself by being better than others, but can learn to be better with others. Applaud effort, not just the end-result, know that life does not depend on just one chance or one instance, learning and performing go on constantly throughout life.
· It is also helpful to share these feelings with trusted friends, family or mentors. Seeking professional help from a psychologist to better understand and cope with these feelings can do wonders.
At the end of the day, there’s a reason for everything. For what one has achieved in life, for the position one is in, keep reminding yourself that you have earned everything you have achieved. It’s okay to feel low at times but be kind to yourself and know that you belong.
